The SaaS Man Cometh

(To the tune of The Gasman Cometh, by Flanders and Swann)

'Twas on a Monday morning
That IT came to call:
I couldn't see the server after
Last week's reinstall.
He tweaked my IP tables
So that ping worked (when he tried);
But the staging server only gave an
"Access is denied"!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Tuesday morning
The sysadmin came round:
She tapped at the command prompt,
And then made a sighing sound;
"Your public key looks fine to me;
The server's on the blink.
It looks like it's the licenses:
They've just expired, I think."

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Wednesday morning
The Licensing chap came:
He called me "Jamie Tracey"
Which isn't quite my name.
He couldn't get the key to work:
"I bet it's out of date.
Your hardware needs an upgrade, though;
You'll simply to have to wait."

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Thursday morning
Procurement came along,
With a calculator, cuppa
And a "can't afford it!" song....
She nodded grimly, took a sip;
I knew I'd won this fight;
But she spilt tea on the UPS,
And out went all the lights!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Friday morning
The sparky made a start:
The building's dodgy ring-main
Had just blown itself apart.
They fixed up all the wiring,
But I found when they had gone
I couldn't see the server
When I turned my laptop on!

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

On Saturday and Sunday, I'm not authorized, you see;
So 'twas on a Monday morning that I telephoned IT!